Sunday, February 1, 2009

Missing




I have a missing heart. Today I am missing all of you. I miss my Dad...it's his birthday. I miss my Mom, Sister, Brother. Mom and Dad Green. I miss all of my brothers and sister in laws. Jackson said yesterday "I want to go to aunt Cristi's house". I am missing family. Sunday dinner. Missing Favorite Uncles, and Favorite Aunts. Cousins. Late night rendezvous in the driveway with old neighbors. Tight hugs. Familiar faces at the store. Waves as cars pass. Old routines. Smiles from Friends...FRIENDS! Oh I miss my friends. All of you. Missing the early morning trip to the gym with my girls! Missing my ward...hugs...smiles. Mint Milanos at the beach. Girls night out. Treats from amazing cooks. Cupcakes. Unexpected visitors. Friends who stay over all day.

Hold on while I wipe my eyes.

Sitting in the drive way while we watch the kids go wild. A familiar house. A familiar street. The mountains. Babysitters across the street. People who know my heart and soul. Missing meeting a certain friend in the street after the first snow fall to slide. The view out my big front window...a comforting view of a friend. Miss running the streets of canyon rim while we talk. Another pair of hands to clear the table after lunch. I miss for it...I ache for it.

A quick wave as we pass in the street. Missing help with laundry. A surprise dinner left on my door step. A mouth full of mashed bananas. Swinging on the swing in the back yard. Meeting at the park. Escaping to Park City. Ice cream fights in the car. Missing you.

A shoulder to cry on. A super heroine to save me in a desperate time. My mom. My Friends. My Neighbors. Chatting in the school parking lot. Our Doctor. Quick trips to swim laps. Warped floors and warped doors. Cooking together every Thursday night. Visiting. Laughing. Crying.

I want you all to know how much you mean to me. I miss sharing these things with you. Thank you for giving me such a full life. I know this is where I need to be, but I still miss. Today I am missing you. Tomorrow I will focus on being grateful, but today I will let my heart miss.

I love you!!

11 comments:

Mary Beth said...

Oh marce! They all miss you too! And these days will eventually come further and further apart from each other...

I think it's time to plan our trip. I'll bring the Milanos.

Kim H. said...

cute pic, and I have those days too:) BTW you are a great writer!

Rodgers clan said...

what an awesome heart felt post. you are so great. I know we only saw you once or twice a year, but you are already missed. PS:that is a great pic of you. You are so beautiful!!!

Ashley said...

A big cyber {HUG} heading your way.

Lora said...

Oh Marci,
This breaks my heart! I am so sorry you are "missing." It hurts doesn't it? Being homesick really hurts. Moving is a hard thing, but I promise it will get better. I have moved a lot in my life time and it was sooo hard and lonely every single time. When I moved to Redlands and every other place we moved to I was soooo sad. But it did always get better -- it just takes time. I will pray for you. Sometimes I cry because I am in a missing mode too -- I miss my life before Grant got sick. I miss the old Grant. Missing hurts, but we can always rely on the Lord to help us feel better. Love ya and praying for you!

*Leslie* said...

Marci my heart aches while I read your post - I can't imagine how hard it must be to be away from all the people and things you love and are used to. Our whole ward sure misses you! But, you will have such incredible memories and experiences there that you would miss out on if you were still here. I wish I could give you a big hug right now :)

Sissy Jackson said...

Marci, you go and have a good cry. It will make you feel better. Then get yourself a ticket home for Mothers Day. Suprise Chad with it and tell him thanks for taking care of the kids that weekend and go go go! I love ya sweet kid!

Jen said...

Love you Marci! I can't wait to see you in three days! Yeah! And you can eat all the bananas and drink all the strawberry Qwik you want, you can even spit them on me!

Jennifer said...

Marci, you are so beautiful and of course you would miss so many things here but soon that will be your home and as soon as that happens it won't be so painful to look back. You express yourself with such genuine beauty. A strong woman knows how to express her pain instead of hiding it behind a smile. You remain such a great example to me!

So, I was thinking that while I'm there the two of us could somehow sneak away to take pictures of the District. You are taking some great photos and I'd like to take some artistic shots while I'm there. Maybe we could do it on a weekend or we could get a sitter. Does that sound like something you'd want to do?

Heather said...

We miss you too Marci! I feel like I didn't get to see you enough when you were out here, but I feel so grateful to have blogs. I think it helps us feel connected even when we're far away! Love you!

Kim Goddard said...

marci! I miss you too! Everytime I drive past our houses there on Louise I miss those days! wrap your arms around yourself...I'm serious...right now....and now squeeze really really tight....There....a hug from me! Love you!