Friday, May 8, 2009

I used to be so brave

I noticed her talking to my baby as I walked back to my cart. She was short, wore a head of white hair, and her face wrinkled as she smiled at me.

As we began talking her husband appeared. We got on the subject of Grandmas.
Oh how I miss mine.
I told them that our grandparents were in Utah.
They asked me if I was Mormon.
"Yes I am."
We visited a little more about the beautiful music of the Tabernacle Choir, missionaries, and their good friends who were also LDS.
My kids were tired and I needed to go.
While parting ways, they told me they could be our grandparents while we were so far from home.

It used to be so easy to share the gospel. I used to be so brave. Over the past few months I have wondered where that bravery has gone.
This is something I think about a lot.
Where did it go? When did I become shy and reserved about who I am?
I have this thought that wiggles into my mind often...
"be more brave."

I have a friend who I love to the very bottom of my soul. She is amazing and is one of the greatest examples of Christlike behavior.
I left Utah wondering why I didn't share the gospel with her more.
Left with regret.
Why didn't I share one of my most valuable possessions with her?
I imagine her asking me in the after life why I didn't.
Hopefully she won't be mad at me for long.
With that in mind I promised I would try harder to be a missionary.

After leaving the store, I couldn't pull my mind away from that sweet older couple. Every time I closed my eyes I could see their wrinkled smiles.
I kept feeling like I should have done more.
Should have said more.
That night I knelt down to pray.
I asked Heavenly Father if he could help me. I would put a Book of Mormon in my purse the next time I went to the store if He would have them be there.
Now when I closed my prayer, I wasn't really sure if this prayer would be answered the way I asked.
I really didn't expect it to. It is a big world out there. But I did feel that He wants us to share, and I had faith that he would help me do that.

Two days later, on Saturday, we headed back to the store.
Book of Mormon in my purse.
Prayer in my heart.
Wrinkled smiles on my mind.

As we pulled into the parking lot I saw a couple with their hood up on their car.
"Chad, pull over there. I think they need help."
We parked next to the car.
I rolled down my window.

It was them.

They were there.

So was my bravery.

Those smiles again.

We talked for a little while. I was happy to introduce them to Chad. They told me that they already had a Book of Mormon. We said goodbye and they said they would meet us there again.

In the end, I still have my Book of Mormon, but I also gained a few things I wasn't expecting...

A little more bravery and faith.
Love for complete strangers.
A testimony that our prayers are answered...one way or another.

13 comments:

The Heitritter Family said...

I love it! You may not feel brave but you are a good example to me. I always think I can't really participate in missionary work because I don't really go anywhere but that isn't true. You can find people anywhere who are interested. Thanks for the reminder!

Grossarths said...

Thats just what I needed. Sometimes I justify myself thinking that I just don't have as many opportunities since I'm not in school or working, but thats the perfect example that even stay at home moms can share the gospel. Thanks.

Alicia said...

That is such a great story!! Thanks for sharing it. I loved every word.

*Leslie* said...

You are a great example. I think I am terrible at being a missionary but, there are people EVERYWHERE that I could share with. Thanks for sharing, and good job!

heidijogoody said...

You share this fear of being brave I think with many many members. We are always told to do missionary work but it is such a difficult thing. Good job in having faith that you would see them again! this story is great thanks for sharing

Kristin said...

Marci! I miss you! I love your stories and I love you lots! I hope you are doing well!

the crew said...

I'm not so brave either- but I have learned that love and friendship are also great missionary tools. It may take a bit longer than coming out and sharing, but sometimes, it works really well.

Sissy Jackson said...

I think that you are very brave. It is scary but you are the sweetest girl. Keep it up. ps your friend in Utah will always love you...no matter what

Glass House said...

Marci you are amazing! I wish I got to hang out with you more when you back here in Utah! Your posts are just so interesting and fun to read, your blog is one of the few I always read and love it!

I am working like crazy with Photography, I have been doing at least 4 sessions a week! I love it! Check out my blog soon, I just posted some way cute pics, and I would love to hear what you think (since I think you are amazing!)...
www.janamariephotography.blogspot.com

Talk to you soon!

Liz Green said...

You have such a great way of expressing your feeling into a great imaginary story. Just your example makes all the difference!!!

Cammy said...

What a neat story. Thanks for sharing it. Good reminder for me too.

Just so you know I invited you to read my 365 picture blog but others have told me their invite went to their junk mail so if you can't find it let me know and I will invite you again.

Lindsay said...

Yea Marci. I love this post. Thanks for sharing. People on the east coast are so open and want to hear more about the "Mormons", it really is great. Good work! You really are awesome. I am sure Heavenly Father will put some one in your path soon to give that Book of Mormon too....good luck when the time comes! I know you will do it!

Danny and Amy said...

That story gave me goosebumps! Heavenly Father really does answer prayers. You are an amazing writer and photographer, by the way. Where did you learn all those things? I'm way impressed